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The room was warm and clean, the curtains were closed, the two
table lamps were lit. Mary Maloney was waiting for her husband to
come home from work. The clock said ten minutes to five, and a few
moments later, as always, she heard the car tires, the car door
closing, and the key turning in the lock. She put down her sewing,
stood up, and went forward to kiss him as he entered.
"Hello, darling," she said.
"Hello," he answered.
She took his coat and hung it up. Then she made the drinks, a strong
one for him and a weak one for herself; and sat back down in her
chair with the sewing
For her, this was always a wonderful time of day. She loved the
warmth that came out of him when they were alone together. She loved
the shape of his mouth, and she especially liked the way he didn't
complain about being tired.
"Tired, darling?"
"Yes," he said. "I'm tired. And as he spoke, he
did an unusual thing. He lifted his glass and drank it down in one
swallow although there was still half of it left.. He went to get
himself another drink.
"I'll get it!" she cried, jumping up.
"Sit down," he said.
"I think it's a shame," she said, "that when someone
has been a policeman as long as you have, he still has to walk around
all day long." He didn't answer
"Darling," she said," If you're too tired to eat
out tonight, as we had planned, I can fix you something. There's
plenty of meat and stuff in the freezer." He didn't respond.
"You must have supper. We can have lamb. Everything's in the
freezer."
"Forget it," he said.
She stood up. "Sit down," he said. "Just for a minute,
sit down." It was not until then that she began to get frightened.
"Go on," he said. "Sit down." "Listen,
"I have something to tell you. This is going to be a big shock
to you, I'm afraid, but I've thought about it a good deal and I've
decided that the only thing to do is to tell you immediately."
And he told her. It didn't take long, four or five minutes at most,
and she sat still through it all, watching him with puzzled horror.
"So there it is," he added. "And I know it's a bad
time to be telling you this, but there simply wasn't any other
way. Of course, I'll give you money and see that you're taken care
of. But there really shouldn't be any problem. I hope not, in any
case. It wouldn't be very good for my job."
Her first instinct was not to believe any of it. "I'll fix
some supper," she whispered. She did everything without thinking.
She went downstairs to the freezer, put her hand inside and took
hold of the first object she found. She lifted it out, and looked
at it. It was wrapped in paper, so she took off the paper and looked
at it again.
A leg of lamb.
All right, then, they would have lamb for supper. She carried it
upstairs, held the thin end with both her hands. She went into the
living room, saw him standing by the window with his back to her,
and stopped.
"I've already told you," he said, hearing her, but not
turning around. "Don't make supper for me. I'm going out."
At that point, Mary Maloney simply walked up behind him, swung
the big frozen leg of lamb high in the air and brought it down as
hard as she could on the back of his head. She stepped back, waiting.
He remained standing there for at least four or five seconds. Then
he crashed onto the carpet.
The violence of the crash, the noise, helped to bring her out of
the shock. She came out slowly, feeling surprised, and she stood
for a few minutes, looking at the body, still holding the piece
of meat tightly with both hands.
All right, she told herself. So I've killed him.
It was extraordinary, now, how clear her mind became all of a sudden.
She began thinking very fast. As the wife of a detective, she knew
what the punishment would be. It made no difference to her. In fact,
it would be a relief. On the other hand, what about the baby? What
were the laws about murderers with unborn children? Did they wait
until the baby was born? What did they do? Mary Maloney did not
know and she was not prepared to take a chance.
She carried the meat into the kitchen, placed it into a pan, turned
the oven on, and put the pan inside. Then she ran upstairs to her
bedroom, fixed her makeup and tried to smile.
The smile was rather peculiar. She tried again. "Hello, Sam,
I want some potatoes." That was better. Both the smile and
the voice sounded better now. She practiced them several times more.
Then she ran downstairs and through the garden into the street.
The neighborhood grocery was still open.. "Hello, Sam,"
she said smiling at the shop owner.
"Good evening, Mrs. Maloney. How are you?"
"I want some potatoes, please, Sam. Patrick's decided he's
tired and he doesn't want to eat out tonight," she told him.
"We usually go out on Thursdays, you know, and now I don't
have any vegetables in the house."
"Then how about some meat, Mrs. Maloney?
"No, I've got meat, thanks, I've got a nice leg of lamb, from
the freezer."
The grocer turned his head to one side, looking at her. "How
about dessert? What are you going to give him for dessert?"
"Well, what would you suggest, Sam?"
The man glanced around his shop. "How about a nice piece of
cake? I know he likes cake."
"Perfect," she said. "He loves it."
And when she had paid, she gave her brightest smile and said, "Thank
you, Sam. Good night."
And now, she told herself as she hurried back home, she was returning
to her husband and he was waiting for his supper. She must cook
it well and make it taste as good as possible, because the poor
man was tired; and if she found anything unusual or terrible when
she got home, then it would be a shock. Keep things absolutely natural
and there'll be no need for acting at all.
She entered through the back door. "Patrick!" she called.
"How are you, darling?"
When she went into the living room; and saw him lying on the floor,
it really was a shock. All the old love for him came back to her,
and she began to cry hard. It was eay. No acting was necessary.
A few minutes later, she got up and went to the phone. She knew
the number of the police station. "Come quickly! Patrick's
dead."
"Who's speaking?"
"Mrs. Maloney. Mrs. Patrick Maloney."
"Do you mean that Patrick's dead?"
"I think so, " she cried. "He's lying on the floor
and I think he's dead."
"We'll be there immediately," the man said.
The car came very quickly, and when she opened the front door,
two policemen walked in. She knew them both. She knew nearly all
the men at the police station.
"Is he dead?" she cried.
"I'm afraid he is. What happened?"
She told her story about going to the grocer and coming back, when
she found him on the floor.
The detectives kept asking her a lot of questions. She said that
Patrick had come in, she was sewing, and he had been too tired to
go out for dinner. She told them how she'd put the meat into the
oven -- "it's there now"--and how she had gone to the
grocer's for vegetables and how she came back to find him lying
on the floor. One of the detectives went to interview the grocer.
After a while, everyone left but two detectives. They were exceptionally
nice to her. They searched the house for the murder weapon.
"The murderer probably took it with him, but maybe he threw
it away or hid it somewhere," they said. "It's the old
story," he said. "Get the weapon, and you've got the murderer."
The search went on. It began to get late -- it was nearly nine
o'clock. The men searching the rooms were getting tired.
"You must be extremely tired. Please, you've been very good
to me," she said. She got them a drink. The detectives were
uncomfortable with her and they tried to say cheering things to
her.
One detective walked into the kitchen. "Look, Mrs. Maloney.
Did you know that your oven is still on, and the meat is still inside?"
"Oh," she said. "So it is! I'd better turn it off."
She returned with large, dark, tearful eyes.
"Would you do me a favor? Here you all are, all good friends
of Patrick's, and you're helping to catch the man who killed him.
You must be very hungry by now because it's long past your supper
time, and I know that Patrick would never forgive me if I let you
stay in the house without offering you anything to eat. Why don't
you eat up the lamb in the oven? It'd be a favor to me if you ate
it up. Then you can go on with your work."
The detectives were hungry, so they went into the kitchen and helped
themselves to supper. The woman stayed where she was and listened
to them through the open door. She could hear them speaking among
themselves, and their voices were thick because their mouths were
full of meat.
"Have some more, Charlie."
"No, we'd better not finish it."
"She wants us to finish it. She said so."
"That's a big bar the murderer must have used to hit poor Patrick.
The doctor says the back of his head was broken to pieces.
"That's why the weapon should be easy to find."
"Whoever did it, he can't carry a weapon that big around with
him."
"Personally, I think the weapon is somewhere near the house."
"It's probably right under our noses. What do you think, Jack?"
And in the other room, Mary Maloney began to laugh.
Long Version
The room was warm, the curtains were closed, the
two table lamps were lit. On the cupboard behind her there were
two glasses and some drinks. Mary Maloney was waiting for her husband
to come home from work.
Now and again she glanced at the clock, but without anxiety: She
merely wanted to satisfy herself that each minute that went by made
it nearer the time when he would come home. As she bent over her
sewing, she was curiously peaceful. This was her sixth month expecting
a child. Her mouth and her eyes, with their new calm look, seemed
larger and darker than before.
When the clock said ten minutes to five, she began to listen, and
a few moments later, punctually as always, she heard the car tires
on the stones outside, the car door closing, footsteps passing the
window, the key turning in the lock. She stood up and went forward
to kiss him as he entered.
"Hello, darling," she said.
"Hello," he answered.
She took his coat and hung it up. Then she made the drinks, a strong
one for him and a weak one for herself; and soon she was back again
in her chair with the sewing, and he was in the other chair, holding
the tall glass, rolling it gently so that the ice knocked musically
against the side of the glass.
For her, this was always a wonderful time of day. She knew he didn't
want to speak much until the first drink was finished, and she was
satisfied to sit quietly, enjoying his company after the long hours
alone in the house. She loved the warmth that came out of him when
they were alone together. She loved the shape of his mouth, and
she especially liked the way he didn't complain about being tired.
"Tired, darling?"
"Yes," he sighed. "I'm thoroughly exhausted. And
as he spoke, he did an unusual thing. He lifted his glass and drank
it down in one swallow although there was still half of it left.
He got up and went slowly to get himself another drink.
"I'll get it!" she cried, jumping up.
"Sit down," he said.
When he came back, she noticed that the new drink was a very strong
one. She watched him as he began to drink.
"I think it's a shame," she said, "that when someone's
been a policeman as long as you have, he still has to walk around
all day long." He didn't answer. "Darling," she said,"
If you're too tired to eat out tonight, as we had planned, I can
fix you something. There's plenty of meat and stuff in the freezer."
Her eyes waited to an answer, a smile, a nod, but he made no sign.
"Anyway," she went on. "I'll get you some bread
and cheese."
"I don't want it," he said.
She moved uneasily in her chair. "But you have to have supper.
I can easily fix you something. I'd like to do it. We can have lamb.
Anything you want. Everything's in the freezer."
"Forget it," he said.
"But, darling, you have to eat! I'll do it anyway, and then
you can have it or not, as you like."
She stood up and put placed her sewing on the table by the lamp.
"Sit down," he said. "Just for a minute, sit down."
It wasn't until then that she began to get frightened.
"Go on," he said. "Sit down." She lowered herself
into the chair, watching him all the time with large, puzzled eyes.
He had finished his second drink and was staring into the glass.
"Listen," he said. "I've got something to tell you."
"What is it, darling? What's the matter?"
He became absolutely motionless, and he kept his head down.
"This is going to be a big shock to you, I'm afraid,"
he said. "But I've thought about it a good deal and I've decided
that the only thing to do is to tell you immediately." And
he told her. It didn't take long, four or five minutes at most,
and she sat still through it all, watching him with puzzled horror.
"So there it is," he added. "And I know it's a tough
time to be telling you this, but there simply wasn't any other way.
Of course, I'll give you money and see that you're taken care of.
But there really shouldn't be any problem. I hope not, in any case.
It wouldn't be very good for my job."
Her first instinct was not to believe any of it. She thought that
perhaps she'd imagined the whole thing. Perhaps, if she acted as
though she had not heard him, she would find out that none of it
had ever happened.
"I'll fix some supper," she whispered. When she walked
across the room, she couldn't feel her feet touching the floor.
She couldn't feel anything except a slight sickness. She did everything
without thinking. She went downstairs to the freezer and took hold
of the first object she found. She lifted it out, and looked at
it. It was wrapped in paper, so she took off the paper and looked
at again --- a leg of lamb.
All right, then, they would have lamb for supper. She carried it
upstairs, held the thin end with both her hands. She went into the
living room, saw him standing by the window with his back to her,
and stopped.
"I've already told you," he said. "Don't make supper
for me. I'm going out."
At that point, Mary Maloney simply walked up behind him and without
any pause, she swung the big frozen leg of lamb high in the air
and brought it down as hard as she could on the back of his head.
She might as well have hit him with a steel bar.
She stepped back, waiting, and the strange thing was that he remained
standing there for at least four or five seconds. Then he crashed
onto the carpet.
The violence of the crash, the noise, the small table overturning,
helped to bring her out of the shock. She came out slowly, feeling
cold and surprised, and she stood for a few minutes, looking at
the body, still holding the piece of meat tightly with both hands.
All right, she told herself. So I've killed him.
It was extraordinary, now, how clear her mind became all of a sudden.
She began thinking very fast. As the wife of a detective, she knew
what the punishment would be. It made no difference to her. In fact,
it would be a relief. On the other hand, what about the baby? What
were the laws about murderers with unborn children? Did they kill
them both -- mother and child? Did they wait until the baby was
born? What did they do? Mary Maloney didn't know and she wasn't
prepared to take a chance.
She carried the meat into the kitchen, put it into a pan, turned
on the oven, and put the pan inside. Then she washed her hands,
ran upstairs, sat down in front of the mirror, fixed her makeup,
and tried to smile.
The smile was rather peculiar. She tried again. "Hello, Sam"
she said brightly, aloud. The voice sounded peculiar, too. "I
want some potatoes, Sam. Yes, and perhaps a can of bean.s."
That was better. Both the smile and the voice sounded better now.
She practiced them several times more. Then she ran downstairs,
took her coat, and went out the back door, through the garden into
the street.
It wasn't six o'clock yet and the lights were still on in the neighborhood
grocery. "Hello, Sam," she said brightly, smiling at the
man in the shop.
"Good evening, Mrs. Maloney. How are you?"
"I want some potatoes, please, Sam. Yes, and perhaps a can
of beans, too. Patrick's decided he's tired and he doesn't want
to eat out tonight," she told him. "We usually go out
on Thursdays, you know, and now I don't have any vegetables in the
house."
"Then how about some meat, Mrs. Maloney?" asked the grocer.
"No, I've got meat, thanks, I've got a nice leg of lamb, from
the freezer."
"Do you want these potatoes, Mrs. Maloney?
"Oh, yes, they'll be fine. Two pounds, please."
"Anything else?" The grocer turned his head to one side,
looking at her. "How about dessert? What are you going to give
him for dessert? How about a nice piece of cake? I know he likes
cake."
"Perfect," she said. "He loves it."
And when she had bought and paid for everything, she gave her brightest
smile and said, "Thank you, Sam. Good night."
And now, she told herself as she hurried back home, she was returning
to her husband and he was waiting for his supper. She had to cook
it well and make it taste as good as possible, because the poor
man was tired; and if she found anything unusual or terrible when
she got home, then it would be a shock and she would have to react
with grief and horror. Of course, she was not expecting to find
anything unusual at home. She was just going home with the vegetables
on Thursday evening to cook dinner for husband.
That's the way, she told herself. Do everything normally. Keep
things absolutely natural and there'll be no need for acting at
all. As she entered the kitchen by the back door, she was quietly
singing to herself.
"Patrick!" she called. "How are you, darling?"
She put the package on the table and went into the living room;
and when she saw him lying there on the floor, it really was a shock.
All the old love for him came back to her, and she ran over to him,
knelt down beside him, and began to cry hard. It was easy. No acting
was necessary.
A few minutes later, she got up and went to the phone. She knew
the number of the police station, and when the man at the other
end answered, she cried to him. "Quick! Come quickly! Patrick's
dead."
"Who's speaking?"
"Mrs. Maloney. Mrs. Patrick Maloney."
"Do you mean that Patrick's dead?"
"I think so, " she cried. "He's lying on the floor
and I think he's dead."
"We'll be there immediately," the man said.
The car came very quickly, and when she opened the front door,
two policemen walked in. She knew them both. She knew nearly all
the men at the police station. She fell into Jack Noonan's arms,
crying uncontrollably. He put her gently into a chair.
"Is he dead?" she cried.
"I'm afraid he is. What happened?"
In a few words she told her story about going to the grocer and
coming back, when she found him on the floor. While she was crying
and talking, Noonan found some dried blood on the dead man's head.
He hurried to the phone.
Some other men began to arrive -- a doctor, two detectives, a police
photographer, and a man who knew about fingerprints. The detectives
kept asking her a lot of questions. They always treated her kindly.
She told them how she'd put the meat into the overn -- "it's
there now"--and how she had gone to the grocer's for vegetables
and how she came back to find him lying on the floor.
The two detectives were exceptionally nice to her. They searched
the house. Sometimes Jack Noonan spoke to her gently. He told her
that her husband had been killed by a blow to the back of the head.
They were looking for the weapon. The murderer might have taken
it with him, but he might have thrown it away or hidden it. ---
"It's the old story," he said. "Get the weapon, and
you've got the murderer."
Later, one of the detectives sat down beside her. Did she know,
he asked, of anything in the house that could have been used as
a weapon? Would she look around to see if anything was missing.
The search went on. It began to get late -- it was nearly nine
o'clock. The men searching the rooms were getting tired. "Jack,"
she said, "Would you like a drink? You must be extremely tired."
"Well," he answered. "It's not allowed by police
rules, but since you're a friend."
They stood around with drinks in their hands. The detectives were
uncomfortable with her and they tried to say cheering things to
her. Jack Noonan walked into the kitchen, came out quickly, and
said, "Look, Mrs. Maloney. Did you know that your oven is still
on, and the meat is still inside?"
"Oh," she said. "So it is! I'd better turn it off."
She returned with tearful eyes. "Would you do me a favor? Here
you all are, all good friends of Patrick's, and you're helping to
catch the man who killed him. You must be very hungry by now because
it's long past your supper time, and I know that Patrick would never
forgive me if I let you stay in the house without offering you anything
to eat. Why don't you eat up the lamb in the oven?"
"I wouldn't dream of it," Noonan said.
"Please," she begged. "Personally, I couldn't eat
a thing, but it'd be a favor to me if you ate it up. Then you can
go on with your work."
The detectives hesitated, but they were hungry, and in the end,
they went into the kitchen and helped themselves to supper. The
woman stayed where she was and listened to them through the open
door. She could hear them speaking among themselves, and their voices
were thick because their mouths were full of meat.
"Have some more, Charlie."
"No, we'd better not finish it."
"She wants us to finish it. She said we ought to eat it up."
"That's a big bar the murderer must have used to hit poor
Patrick. The doctor says the back of his head was broken to pieces.
"That's why the weapon should be easy to find."
"Exactly what I say."
"Whoever did it, he can't carry a weapon that big around with
him."
"Personally, I think the weapon is somewhere near the house."
"It's probably right under our noses. What do you think, Jack?"
And in the other room, Mary Maloney began to laugh.
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